The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger
by darthelwig
Summary: Hermione has always liked Ron. She never thought she'd feel that way about Ginny as well. What happens when they share an unforgettable kiss? Rated R for obvious reasons. Slash. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter One

The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger

Chapter One

By darthelwig

Rated R for future chapters! This story contains sexuality, people!

This is a Hermione/Ginny story. It's not my usual fare, but I decided to see if I could write it. Hopefully it turned out okay.

I do not own Harry Potter or make any money off this story. I am just playing in J.K. Rowling's world for a little while.

            "How _dare_ he?" Hermione ranted as she stormed into Ginny's room in the burrow, slamming the door behind her. Ginny nearly jumped out of her skin at the noise but watched quietly as her friend threw herself down on the other bed and hugged the pillow to her face. Ginny had no doubt what this was about. Hermione and Ron had been fighting nearly every day since she had come to stay with them this summer. They seemed to disagree on everything.

            "What happened?" she asked.

            "Who does he think he is?" Hermione said shrilly, her voice raising an octave. She sat up on the bed, pulling the pillow into her lap. She was nearly shaking with rage. Ginny just sat there scrutinizing her, waiting for the explanation.

            "Ron says I can't play Quidditch with the boys since I _obviously_ hate the game and _probably_ can't even play. And do you know what his _reason_ is? Because I'm a _girl_! _Angelina_ plays Quidditch! _Alicia_ plays Quidditch! Even _Katie_ plays Quidditch! But no, not Hermione Granger! She _can't_ play Quidditch! Well, you know something? I don't even _wan_t to play with them! I'd rather be with people who _appreciate_ me!" Hermione had worked herself into a towering temper by now. Her face was flushed and her breathing was shallow and quick. Ginny imagined that her friend would look something like this when she was engulfed by passion, and the very thought was enough to send her mind spinning into territory that she wasn't quite ready to deal with. Not with the object of her desire sitting right there looking at her.

            Ginny cleared her throat and tried to sound as comforting as possible, even though she knew that Hermione didn't really want to play Quidditch. She just wanted to be included. Ron was an idiot in Ginny's opinion. How could he not notice this girl who was right under his nose? It was obvious to _everyone_ that Hermione fancied him, but he was too dense to act on it. For her part, Ginny was grateful. It would be too strange for her to see them together, especially now that her crush on Harry had faded and she herself was developing feelings for Hermione.

            "Well," she said, "Ron can be an idiot, you know. He'll learn eventually. Besides, did you _really_ want to play with them?"

            Hermione sighed, hugging the pillow tighter.

            "No," she said softly, the anger fading somewhat. "I just wish he would notice me, you know? But he never _sees_ me. I mean, what do I have to _do_? I'm no Fleur. Boys don't chase after me. But we've been friends all this time… Why doesn't he make a move? I _thought_ he liked me. Was I wrong?"

            Hermione looked so forlorn that Ginny had to take pity on her.

            "Well, he does notice you. He just doesn't know how to say it. I know he likes you, though."

            "Well, what is he waiting for, an invitation?"

            "I don't know."

            "I wish someone else was interested in me. Maybe if he knew that I wasn't going to wait around forever he would finally do something. If Victor were here, that might change things. He's not, though, and no one at school sees me like that."

            "I wouldn't say _no one_," Ginny murmured, thinking her friend wouldn't hear her. Luck was against her, though, and Hermione was looking at her with renewed interest.

            "Someone at school likes me?" she asked incredulously. Ginny could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks and knew she was turning three shades of red, but there was no hiding now. Hermione was the most stubborn person she had ever known, and she was going to have her answer, whether Ginny liked it or not.

            "Who is it?" Hermione asked, leaning forward anxiously. Ginny cringed, but couldn't speak.

            Hermione moved over to Ginny's bed, sitting next to her. She put her hand on Ginny's shoulder, wanting to plead for help but unable to do so. Instead, she let her eyes do the talking, knowing her friend would see the need in them and trusting her to respond. If there was one person who was always straight and honest with her, it was Ginny Weasley.

            Ginny looked into her friend's eyes, so close to her own. Lots of people couldn't look past Hermione's bushy hair to see the girl under it, but Ginny did. She thought Hermione was beautiful, and her friend's eyes had always been one of her favorite features. How could she resist the pleading there? Hermione was in pain and she had to help if she could. She gathered her courage and dove in.

            "Me," Ginny murmured, finally letting Hermione see the longing she had so carefully hidden from everyone. She could see the shock on the girl's face and prayed that the letdown would be quick so she could move on and pick up the last shreds of her dignity.

            Hermione was surprised by Ginny's revelation, but not averse to it. She had never considered her friend in that light before, and she realized she had done the same thing to Ginny that Ron had done to her for the first few years of their relationship. How could she be so stupid?

            She wondered what it would be like to kiss Ginny. She was a beautiful young girl, with a wonderful mind and a bold spirit. She had always liked her. Was she attracted to her?

            She looked at Ginny with eyes newly opened and discovered that she liked what she saw. Ginny's red hair was long and sleek, framing her face in a halo of fire. Her skin was creamy and smooth, with scattered freckles that served only to draw one's attention to her eyes, which gleamed with intelligence and warmth. She found herself leaning in closer and was only pleasantly surprised when their lips met in a soft, tender kiss. She didn't pull away, but let their faces remain where they were, their breaths mingling in an intimacy previously unknown to both of them.

            Ginny was amazed by what was happening. Was Hermione really kissing her? Were those Hermione's lips so smooth and warm against her own? She was in heaven. She closed her eyes, letting the sensations fill her, memorizing them. She wanted this moment to last forever.

            Hermione let her own eyes drift shut, moving her lips slowly over Ginny's. The feather-light brush of their mouths was bliss. Ever so slowly, she deepened the kiss, letting their passion build. Her tongue darted out to taste Ginny's mouth, which granted her access immediately. Their tongues met in an intricate dance, learning each other, teasing each other. She was drunk on the honeyed nectar that was Ginny Weasley.

            A knock on the door brought the moment to a crashing halt. They broke apart, both of them flushed and breathless. Ginny fought to recover her equilibrium while Hermione ran a shaky hand through her hair.

            "Hermione, I know you're in there!" Ron yelled through the door. "Come on, don't be mad! You can play if you really want to!"

            Hermione looked at Ginny, at a loss for words, and Ginny made up her mind for her. She stood up and walked to the door, throwing it open.

            "She'll be out in a minute!" she said firmly before closing the door in her brother's face. She turned back to Hermione and took a deep, steadying breath.

            "Look," she said, careful to keep her voice down. "You don't have to say anything, okay? We can pretend that never happened if you want. I'll still be your friend." She didn't want to say the words, but Hermione needed this. She needed the freedom to make her own choice and she needed a friend she could trust.

            Hermione stared at Ginny for a long moment before slowly shaking her head. She needed time to think abut what had happened. She couldn't trust herself to say anything right now. It was far better to go play that stupid game with Ron and make up her mind later. She stood up to go and Ginny let her walk past, headed out the door to join Ron.

            Ginny closed the door behind them and leaned against it, head down. What would happen between them now was up to Hermione. She had let her know what was in her heart and that was all she could do. She would have to trust Hermione with any future they were to have.

            For the first time in her life, she hated her brother.


	2. Chapter Two

The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger

Chapter Two

By darthelwig

This one has a very serious R rating folks! And it is a Hermione/Ginny story. If you don't like that kind of thing, please go read something else.

I don't own these characters and I make no money off of them. J.K. Rowling does, and she's nice enough to let us play in her world every so often.

            Ginny didn't see Hermione again until much later. They were both at dinner, of course, but they couldn't talk seriously when surrounded by a roomful of chattering Weasley's.

            She did manage to catch Hermione's eye once, and the single intense look they shared was enough to send tingles of awareness throughout her body. She had trouble eating after that, and settled on pushing her food around on the plate. Luckily, her mother was too preoccupied to notice, or she was sure to be in for a long talk. All she wanted was to go up to her room and wait for Hermione to come upstairs.

            She escaped as soon as she could and sat on her bed to wait. It wasn't long before she heard footsteps approach and stop at the door. She knew it was Hermione, and wondered why she had stopped outside the door. The suspense was causing large butterflies to swarm in her stomach.

            Hermione opened the door and stepped inside, obviously nervous.

            "Hi," she said softly, her eyes fixed on the pretty young girl on the bed. How did Ginny get to be so beautiful right under her nose? Her brilliant hair was spilling loose and free onto her shoulders, and Hermione ached to run her fingers through it. She approached the bed and sat next to her friend, who looked so anxious.

            "I thought maybe you'd be uncomfortable around me," Ginny whispered, shrugging her shoulders. Hermione studied her thoughtfully for a moment before answering.

            "I thought I might be too, but I'm not." She reached up and trailed her fingers across Ginny's cheek, feeling how silky her skin was. She traced the other girl's jaw-line, and then allowed her fingers to travel down her throat and across her shoulder. Ginny was trembling, and Hermione leaned in to capture her mouth in a sweet kiss. Their lips parted easily and Hermione let her tongue explore all the sensual contours of Ginny's hot mouth.

            She moaned when Ginny's hand found her breast, cupping her through her shirt and squeezing gently. Hermione arched her back, pressing her tender flesh more fully into Ginny's palm. Ginny's mouth broke from hers and she let out a small squeak of protest until she felt the moist heat of it close over her nipple. Ginny suckled her through the fabric and Hermione fell back onto the bed, fingers tangled in her lover's hair. She had never experienced anything so delicious.

            Ginny's hands were roaming Hermione's body, exploring all the secret places she had daydreamed about. She pushed Hermione's shirt up, exposing her soft, full breasts which were confined in a simple white bra. She pulled the bra up, Hermione's breasts spilling out into her waiting hands. Ginny's mouth was quick to taste them, so perfect and pleasing. Hermione was writhing in pleasure, making sounds Ginny had only ever dreamed of hearing from her. Every gasp and moan sent ripples of pleasure across her skin and down every nerve ending she possessed.

            Ginny moved one hand up Hermione's thigh, caressing the smooth flesh she found. Hermione's skirt had lifted high and Ginny could the white of her panties. She slid her hand around and slipped her fingers under the damp cotton. Hermione nearly bucked her off the bed when Ginny's fingers found the damp core of pleasure hidden there. Ginny caressed Hermione's most secret, sacred spot before sliding a finger into her. She felt here friend's orgasm overtake her and Hermione cried out in ecstasy as her liquid coated Ginny's fingers.

            Ginny kissed her, waiting for Hermione to open her eyes. Instead, her lover rolled her over, landing squarely atop her. Only then did she open her warm, brown eyes and look into Ginny's face once more.

            "That was beautiful," she whispered breathily, bending down to capture Ginny's lips once again. Hermione ran her hand down Ginny's side, then up and under her shirt where her fingers closed around one of the younger girl's erect nipples. Ginny gasped as Hermione rolled it between her thumb and forefinger, the pleasure shooting down to her molten core. Hermione smiled at her friend's reaction, reveling in the pleasure she could give her. She was rather pleasantly surprised by the lack of a bra under Ginny's clothes.

            She moved lower on Ginny's body until her face was just inches away from the juncture of her lover's legs. She could feel the heat emanating from Ginny's private paradise, and lifted her skirt until she was completely uncovered. Hermione worked Ginny's panty off and dipped her tongue into Ginny's heat, exploring and tasting her. Ginny was breathing in panting gasps as Hermione worked magic on her until she exploded in an orgasm of her own.

            There were no words between them that night. They lay in each other's arms, replete and spent, enjoying the silence and wondering what was to come.


	3. Chapter Three

The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger

Chapter Three

By darthelwig

I don't own Harry Potter, so bugger off. J.K. Rowling is the woman you want.

This is rated R for obvious reasons.

            The next day dawned bright and clear. The Weasley boys were already outside practicing Quidditch- yet again. Hermione and Ginny were sitting at the kitchen table while Mrs. Weasley puttered around the house preparing for Ginny's departure for her last year at Hogwarts. She was two months early, but what did that matter? There a myriad number of things left to do, like pick up her books and supplies from Diagon Alley. Hermione felt odd not having schoolwork of her own to do but she, Ron and Harry had all graduated from Hogwarts and were taking some much needed time to recuperate. In fact, Harry was due to join them any day now.

            She and Ginny hadn't spoken about the events of the night before yet. Neither one of them seemed to know what to say. Things seemed do different in the light of day, like their happiness together had all been some sort of dream. Yet, they both knew it had been real. They both still felt the same heated desire for each other.

            An owl flew in the window and landed delicately on the chair next to Hermione. She recognized it immediately. The poor creature looked tired, but didn't dawdle after she removed the scroll, taking off again in a flurry of feathers.

            "Is that what I think it is?" Ginny asked, eyeing the note. Hermione nodded and ripped open the letter. Her eyes scanned it quickly, but Ginny knew she was taking in every word. It was just who Hermione was.

            Unfortunately, Ron chose that moment to come inside for a breather. He saw the scroll and his face darkened, knowing who had sent it.

            "So what does Vicky have to say this time?" he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

            "I told you not to call him that, Ron," she replied coldly.

            "Fine," he snapped. "What does _Victor_ want now?"

            "None of your business, Ronald Weasley," she said her voice as cold as ice. Ginny thought her brother should've known by now that he was pushing Hermione too far, but he still hadn't learned when to shut his mouth. She shook her head, trying to catch his attention, but his gaze was focused on Hermione. She might as well have not even been in the room with them, for all the attention they were paying to her.

            Hermione was giving Ron her best McGonagall stare, but he refused to back down. Krum's letters always made him too angry to think clearly, especially because she really seemed to like getting them.

            "Come on, Hermione. What have you got to hide?" he taunted, not caring how utterly childish he sounded.

            "I'm not _hiding_ anything, _Ronald_. I just don't want to talk about it with _you_."

            Ginny shivered as the temperature in the room seemed to drop with Hermione's frosty words in the air. Everyone but Ron understood that there was nothing between Hermione and Victor except friendship. Ron's jealousy just wouldn't allow him to see it.

            "And why not?" he yelled, his barely-contained vehemence bursting out. It was Ron's hot anger against Hermione's cold fury, and Ginny had no idea who was going to break first. She stayed silent, not wanting to be drawn into this argument anymore, hoping she would continue to go unnoticed.

            "Because you need to grow up!" Hermione shouted, and Ron drew back, startled. She grabbed up her letter in her fist and got up from the table, glaring at Ron the whole time.

            "When you can speak in a civil manner again, maybe we'll talk," she said. Her voice was no longer raised, but was shaking with suppressed emotion. She stalked out of the kitchen and Ron threw his hands up in defeat.

            "Great," he muttered darkly as he stomped outside, still ignoring his younger sister. Ginny watched the both of them go their separate ways with an aching sadness growing in her heart.

            Hermione stayed away from everyone for the rest of the day. It wasn't difficult since the burrow was always a riot of activity. It seemed like the entire Weasley family was here this summer.

            She was making her way upstairs to the room she shared with Ginny when Ron finally found her. She knew he would eventually, but she'd been hoping it would be later, after she'd had more time to cool down. She was still frustrated with him. How dare he speak to her that way? He'd never laid any claim to her, so her life was still hers to live. Her friendship with Victor had nothing to do with him anyway.

            Her thoughts slid towards Ginny, but she forced them away from that subject. She didn't know what Ginny meant to her yet. She wasn't even sure how to categorize what she was feeling anymore. There was such a conflicting mixture of emotions churning within her right now…

            Ron's hand fell on her arm, startling her out of her reverie. She looked up at him, carefully keeping her face neutral. She wasn't going to let him know what she was thinking or feeling until she as good and ready.

            "Hermione," he said, looking bashful. "Um, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I know you and Victor are just friends."

            "And if we _aren't_ just friends, that's none of your business either, now is it?" She did her best to sound annoyed but it was hard to do when he was looking at her like that. She had such a soft spot where Ron was concerned.

            "Look, Hermione. I like you. I really do. I know I've been pretty thick about things, but I want to make it better, okay?"

            "I don't know what you _want_, Ron. When you figure it out, come tell me. But I may not wait around." She thought of Ginny and her heart ached. It felt like such a betrayal to be saying these words right now.

            "You don't have to wait anymore, Hermione," Ron said before bending down and capturing her lips in a passion-filled kiss. His arms twined around her waist to pull her closer.

            Ron's lips melted her meager resistance in seconds and Hermione melded her lips to his as their tongues danced. This was what she had waited so very long for. This was _Ron_.

            Her mind drifted back to Ginny's sweet, tender kisses- so very different from her brother's more forceful nature. A hot seed of desire blossomed inside of her and she pressed her body against Ron's. She could feel his arousal against her belly and it sent a shiver of anticipation through her.

            She broke their kiss, letting Ron trail his lips over the sensitive skin of her throat. She wanted to let this happen. She wanted to forget everything else for a little while and just revel in his desire. She wanted to throw consequences to the wind and experience the culmination of years of waiting. She wanted _him_.

            "Take me to your room," she whispered hoarsely, passion choking her voice. Ron looked at her, surprised, but lifted her up and walked the short distance to his door.

            And Hermione Granger lost the last piece of her innocence that night, in his arms.


	4. Chapter Four

The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger

Chapter Four

By darthelwig

I don't own the world of Harry Potter, but I do abuse it occasionally.

This is rated R.

            Ginny had lain awake all night, waiting for Hermione to come to bed.

            She hadn't made an appearance at all. Ginny knew what that meant. She wasn't stupid. Hermione had been with Ron.

            She fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. She should have known that this would happen. How could she compare with the history Hermione had with Ron? She had given her heart to Hermione, but that didn't mean Hermione had done the same for her. She'd known that this was always going to be a possibility. Ron had feelings for Hermione. It was only a matter of time until he realized that. And when he did, he would come for her. Apparently, that time had come.

            Still, the pain was harsh. Ginny hadn't been prepared for it to happen so soon after their night together. Where had that happiness gone? She wanted to find it again. She wanted Hermione back.

            She didn't go downstairs, but waited in the room that morning for Hermione to return. She would, Ginny knew, if only to change. That was who Hermione was. She knew her better than Ron ever would. How many times had they stayed up to talk at night? How many times had Hermione shared her deepest secrets and feelings with her? They had been friends for so long now, and had shared a great deal. After all, there were some things you could only say to another girl.

            A slow anger was building in Ginny's gut. How could Ron be any better for Hermione than she was? Did he even really know her? How could he? He never listened to a word she said. No, it was Ginny who listened and offered words of comfort. It was Ginny who understood how hard it had been for Hermione to be happy just being friends with the boy she had fallen for. Ginny knew Hermione so much better! So why was it Ron who got the girl?

            Life wasn't fair. She knew that. Love didn't follow a pattern or rules. It just _was_. But that didn't make it any easier to swallow when the person you loved didn't love you back.

            Hermione entered the room, knowing Ginny would be there. The guilty look on her face did nothing to appease Ginny's hurt feelings. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it.

            "I'm sorry," Hermione said, but Ginny interrupted her.

            "You don't have to be sorry," she said. "I know how you feel about him."

            "I know, but I should have talked to you first. He was just…_there_…and it just…_happened_."

            "Yeah, so, is that what it was with u_s_- something that just happened? Because I thought it actually meant something. At least, it did for _me_." Ginny's hurt was surfacing now, emerging as an anger so intense she was shaking with rage. Hermione looked startled but was determined to have this out with her friend.

            "Look, Ginny, what we did was very…nice. And it _did_ mean something to me, but I _love_ him! You know that! I've talked to you about this before. You know how long I've waited for this!" Hermione was pleading for forgiveness, and Ginny's heart melted at the sight. Her anger began to subside, seeing the obvious pain her love was in. It was futile anyway. Hermione was right. She loved Ron, not her.

            "Fine," Ginny said, sighing. "You're right. It's your choice." She looked at Hermione, her face unreadable. She moved closer to her, advancing slowly and with purpose. Hermione was trembling now, but for what reason Ginny didn't know. Was it fear? No, she couldn't see fear in those wide eyes of hers. Was it desire? Perhaps it was time to find out.

            She moved ever closer until she her body was pressed against Hermione's. Their faces were mere inches apart. But Hermione didn't turn away or stop her. She just stood there, transfixed by Ginny's heated gaze.

            Ginny bent her head and captured Hermione's lips with her own. Her tongue demanded entrance, and Hermione's mouth opened obediently. She plunged her tongue into Hermione's hot mouth, plundering her depths. She pressed her lover more firmly against the door, letting her hands slide up the girl's sides, under her shirt. She felt Hermione respond, felt the moan escape her throat. Ginny pushed her knee between Hermione's legs, spreading them. She could feel the molten heat of Hermione's inner core pressed against her thigh. She was surprised to discover the lack of underwear but was ready to take full advantage of it.

            She reached down with one hand; keeping Hermione's lips locked in a kiss, and spread her soft folds. Her thigh was now wet with Hermione's juices, and she rubbed it slowly against her sensitive flesh. Hermione was making the most sensual sounds deep in her throat. She climaxed quickly; crying out her pleasure into Ginny's waiting mouth.

            Her breathing ragged, Hermione broke their kiss, pulling her head back to look Ginny in the eye. Ginny stared right back at her, loving how Hermione looked with her face flushed in sexual gratification.

            "That's what I can give you, Hermione. I've already loved you and taken care of you. If you wanted, I'd keep you forever. I would love you like you've always yearned to be loved. It's your choice. The love you had to wait for or the love I give you freely. Now you just have to make it."

            Ginny backed up a step and opened the door, forcing Hermione to back out of her way. With one final, meaningful look she was gone.

            Hermione stood there for a long time, trying to calm her racing heart.


	5. Chapter Five

The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger 

Chapter Five

By darthelwig

I don't own the characters, and I'm not making a profit off this story.

This story is rated R.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed me thus far. I appreciate the input.

            Hermione spent the next couple of days in a fog.

            Ginny didn't make another advance, though Hermione could see the desire in her friend's eyes. She didn't know what to do about it. She was happy with Ron. He was everything she had hoped for, everything she had dreamed. He treated her pretty well, for a guy who didn't get the slightest thing about girls, and he tried his best to make her happy. This was what she had always wanted, wasn't it?

            Yet, though she spent every waking moment she could with him and every night in his arms, her mind still dwelled on Ginny. She could still feel the burning desire for Ginny's touch along every nerve ending in her body. A single look from Ginny was all it took to send her heart racing with passion. How could she love Ron so much and still want so badly to make love to his sister?

            The worst part was, Ginny seemed to know exactly the effect she was having on Hermione's frazzled nerves. She played Hermione liked a well-tuned instrument, shooting her heated glances which inflamed the tempest of her desire during inopportune moments. She was arousing Hermione to the point of a frenzy without laying one finger on her. Ron had never done such a thing to her. She wasn't sure he was capable of it. The pleasure they found together wasn't nearly the same as the ecstasy she had found in Ginny's arms. What did that mean? Was she ready to give up on Ron now that she finally had him? Is that what was right? Is that what she really wanted?

            Questions plagued her. For the first time in her life, her mind had no answers to give. She had never planned for this eventuality, had never imagined it could even happen. She had no idea how to continue. What was real and true and lasting? She had nothing to base her judgment on. There were no books to help her on this subject and no one she felt comfortable asking. She couldn't go to Harry. He was Ron's best friend. She couldn't put him in that position. And she had no other close friends available to her. The person she had always discussed these things with had been Ginny.

            Problem was, she wanted Ginny. She could no longer deny it. The knot of desire Ginny had awoken in her had never faded. Ron couldn't touch it, no matter what he did to her in bed. Only Ginny had been able to stroke that flame, build it up and release it to burn her up from the inside out. Hermione supposed she should be afraid of it, intense as it was, but she couldn't bring herself to be. It was a part of her, a part only Ginny could reach.

            She wished that she could make a decision already. It was unfair to do this to Ron, and she didn't want to hurt him. But she also found herself yearning for Ginny to touch her again, aching for the time when her secret lover would end this cat-and-mouse game and simply take her, like she had two days ago. That memory kept replaying in Hermione's mind, driving her mad with lust. If Ron noticed anything, he didn't seem to mind, but her body was in overdrive and it was all Ginny's doing.

            This intensity of emotion was completely new to Hermione. Ron had never been able to inspire such a wide range of need within her. Yet Ginny, who had never been more than a friend before this, had ignited her deepest desires.

            Was this love? Was this intense, prowling thing within her heart the first stirrings of a deep, abiding passion? How could she know? This was nothing like the stories had promised. There was no definite knowledge in her soul crying out that this was the love she had always yearned for. There was only the fact that she was closer to Ginny than to most people and cared for her deeply. And, above all, her longings were all directed at the other girl.

            If this was love, then, what to do about it? Should she wait and see? Wouldn't that hurt Ron more than if she simply told him what was in her heart right now? And what about Ginny's feelings? She didn't want to make her wait, especially if she was going to be Hermione's choice of destiny.

            Perhaps Ginny had been right. Did she want the safe, pleasant love that Ron could provide her, or the passionate, consuming love that Ginny held out so willingly? Her head told her to stay with Ron but her heart demanded more. If she had found her mad, ardent love in Ginny, didn't she owe it to herself to take it?

            Hermione knew what her answer had to be.

            She wanted it all. She wanted everything life had to offer, and Ginny was it. Ron made her happy, but it wasn't how she had imagined things would be. She had found the heated fervor she had been longing for all her life in Ginny's arms, not his. Did she love Ginny? Was it more than just lust that she was feeling?

            She thought it might be. Her heart told her it was. It was just hard not to listen to her head, when she had spent her entire life so far doing just that. But she would not let herself ruin this chance for true happiness. She and Ginny shared something special, and she would allow nothing to interfere with that.

            Now all she had to do was let Ron down. Easier said than done.


	6. Chapter Six

The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger

Chapter Six

By darthelwig

I don't own the characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling.

This story is rated R.

            Hermione found Ginny sitting under a tree on the edge of the property, cleverly concealed by a clump of thick shrubbery. Unfortunately for Ginny, Hermione could always find her, no matter where she tried to hide. It was just another facet to the bond they shared.

            Ginny looked up as she approached, her eyes bright with unshed tears. Hermione sat next to her, not touching her yet. Ginny was shaking with emotion, trying to hold in the sobs. Hermione wanted to reach out to her and hold her, to comfort her, but she needed to say this first.

            "I've done a lot of thinking, Ginny, and I've made my decision. You were right, you know. I've been afraid to live, afraid to change, afraid to dream. I've been afraid to let go of the past and grasp my future. You were right about everything.

            So I've decided. I love Ron. I do. He has always been my dream. I've always felt safe knowing he was there for me, waiting for the opportune moment. He has been my safety net all these years. I treasure him still, yet he doesn't inspire in me the kind of passion that you do.

            It's _you_ that understands me and makes me feel. You are my passion. You possess my soul. You are my love and you always will be.

            I love you, Ginny Weasley. I will love you well if you'll only give me the chance."

            Ginny's tears were flowing freely now, streaming down her face and soaking her shirt. Hermione reached out one shaky hand to touch Ginny's hair, brushing a stray lock of it off her face. Hermione leaned forward and pressed her lips to Ginny's in a soft, hesitant kiss, feather-light and gentle. She could taste the salt of her love's tears on her lips, and her heart broke with the sorrow of having caused them.

            "I love you," Ginny whispered, her breath like a warm caress on Hermione's face. Ginny reached up and pulled Hermione into a deep kiss- drinking her, filling her soul with her lover's sweetness. There was no healing more powerful than the love she had fund in Hermione's kiss.

            They were too wrapped up in each other to notice the snap of a twig and the soft footsteps which heralded someone's arrival at their private tryst. So there was no warning before they heard a voice that cut through the happiness clouding their senses.

            "_What _in _bloody hell_ are you two _doing_?"

            Ginny's entire body went rigid as she recognized her brother's voice. She stood quickly, nearly knocking Hermione over in the process. For her part, Hermione just sat there in shock, staring up into Ron's enraged face.

            "_Ginny_? _Hermione_? _What_ is going _on_?" Ron looked furious, and Ginny didn't blame him. He'd just caught his girlfriend making out with his sister. That had to come as a shock. The look of betrayal on his face, though, was her undoing. She didn't want to hurt him. She'd never wanted to hurt him. She had to make him understand somehow…

            "Ron, you've got to-"

            I've _got_ to _nothing_! _How long_ has this been going on? And _when_ were you going to _tell me_ about it?" Ron was shouting at Hermione, whose face was white as death. Her eyes were huge as she looked up at him, visibly shaking as she sat there. A hot flame of anger ignited in Ginny as she watched Hermione take the brunt of Ron's anger.

            "This isn't her fault, _Ronald_, so why don't you shout at me instead?"

            "Don't even get me _started_ on _you_! You're my _sister_! How could you _do this_ to me? _We're family_!"

            "I didn't do this to _you_, Ronald. Neither of us did. We _love_ each other." Ginny watched what she had said sink in, watched Ron's anger slowly fade away to be replaced with a heartbreaking sorrow. He looked at Hermione, his eyes shadowed and dark. For a moment Ginny didn't recognize her brother, as his turned his head towards Hermione. For just that split second, he looked older than his years, his face a study in defeat.

            "You love her?" he asked softly, his eyes locked on Hermione's. She slowly nodded her head.

            "I do. I'm so sorry, Ron," she whispered.

            He nodded his head silently, turning away from them both. He began to walk away, but paused when Hermione called out to him.

            "Ron, wait!" she said, pulling herself to her feet.

            He didn't turn around or look back, but they both heard him clearly.

            "Be happy," he said, his voice hoarse. And he walked away.


	7. Chapter Seven

The Secret Heartache of Hermione Granger

Chapter Seven

By darthelwig

I don't own the characters.

This story is rated R.

Special thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. I hope that this final chapter is everything you hoped it would be. It was a bloody difficult write.

            She never wanted to hurt him He knew that. It was just terribly difficult to lose someone you always thought would be there for you.

He knew they would still be friends if he wished it. He mind understood that she still loved him in her own way. She would always be his friend. It was his heart that couldn't handle the betrayal and the loss. His heart was screaming with the agony of losing her being 'in love'.

She had been his for too short a time. He had discovered too late that he needed her. Now her decision was made and he could do nothing to change her mind. He knew he deserved this. He had let things go for too long, trusting that nothing would change between them until he was ready, but their time had come and gone, it seemed. And now there was nothing left to do but try to be happy for them.

He wanted to be. He loved his sister deeply. If one thing could be said about his family, it was that they loved each other more than anything. Ginny was his cherished little sister. No amount of teasing or fighting could ever change that.

But now she had Hermione.

He had wanted Hermione for so long, without even realizing the depth of it. He had spent years at her side before he discovered the simple truth that he loved her. And even then, he couldn't say the words. He couldn't admit that he wanted that beautiful, bossy and highly intelligent witch to be his own. She outstripped him by far in every ability. She was brilliant and amazing and caring. He thought now how remarkable it was that he hadn't seen himself falling in love with her.

But why wouldn't he have? She was magnificent. But she was also worth far more than he was, and that knowledge had kept him quiet in those instances when he had wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. She would have let him have her, he knew. She loved him. But how could he do that when he didn't deserve her?

Then there was Victor to think about. Her friendship with the Quidditch player could have so easily developed into something more. Ron knew Victor had wanted it to. He had to give the other man some credit. He had never given up. Even now he sent her letters, hoping she would change her mind and give him half a chance. Victor had thought Harry was the obstacle but those around Hermione knew better. She had been waiting for Ron.

And he had made her wait a long time. Now he understood how truly stupid he had been. She couldn't wait forever. Her heart couldn't handle that. It had to eventually move on. And so she had. Her desire lay elsewhere now. With Ginny. It was so obvious to him now how he had screwed things up. He only wished he had seen his mistakes sooner.

And so his anger was gone. The hurt would fade. But the sense of loss was as sharp and cutting as it had been that first moment, when he had seen them kissing in the bushes. He felt like a huge piece of his heart had been ripped away, the hole left raw and bleeding. He felt like he was slowly dying from it. His heart ached in his chest, the pain his punishment for his apathy. He should have tried harder for her. He should have done better by her. But now it would be Ginny who was given that opportunity.

He knew that Ginny would never fail her. Ginny was observant and loving, always thoughtful about other people. She would be better for Hermione than he could ever hope to be. Now he just wanted the pain to go away. He wanted to share in the joy they were experiencing. He wanted to be a part of their happiness together, if being with Ginny was what it took to make Hermione happy. And it seemed as though it was.

He could be happy for them. He knew what he wanted now.

Hermione was sitting on the bed in Ginny's room, leaning back against her lover as Ginny ran a brush softly through her thick hair. This had become one of their favorite nighttime rituals. The feel of the brush sent shivers down Hermione's spine, causing a warm know of desire to flare in her stomach. Ginny's hands were amazing on her skin as well. She would let her fingers trail lightly over the sensitive skin of Hermione's neck and shoulders as she worked the tangles out of her curly tresses.

That was how Ron found them, both focused on the pleasures found in their private world. Hermione's eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted. He could see the flush of desire which was spreading over her fair skin. Arousal pulled at him, but he stamped it down, willing it away. This sight was not for him. Not anymore.

He looked down and cleared his throat, hoping to catch their attention, and it worked. Ginny paused in her brushing to look up at her brother, his lanky form filling the tiny doorway. She didn't speak, she simply watched him, her eyes wary.

In Ginny's eyes, Ron looked…defeated. There was no other word for it. His shoulders were slumped and his face was pinched with resignation and determination. Pity welled up within her and she had to fight back a sudden onslaught of tears. She loved Ron so very much and she hated to see him in pain, but she knew this was for the best. She had never seen Hermione happier than she had been these last few weeks. Everyone else had accepted their relationship already. Ron was the only one who still had issues with this, and she didn't blame him at all.

She knew how it would have been for her if Hermione had chosen Ron instead. For a while there, she would have sworn Hermione was going to. It had been a dream come true when Hermione had confessed her love, so Ginny could completely understand what her brother was feeling right now.

"Ron, did you need something?" Hermione asked, her voice guarded and strained. Ginny moved her hands to her lover's waist to give her some moral support and Ron struggled to find the words that would break his heart forever.

"Hermione, I love you. I'm sorry that I never showed you how much. I'm sorry for everything. But I know how happy you are now and I'm glad for you." He swallowed against a sudden lump in his throat, and Hermione just sat there, speechless.

"I should have done so many things differently… But that's the past and I can't change it now, no matter how much I'd like to. I guess I came by to say that I'm happy you're happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you, you know. I'm not angry anymore, okay? I just…I just needed to say that."

Hermione slid off the bed and slowly approached Ron, whose tears were now spilling silently down his cheeks. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight, and he grasped her to him, burying his face in her hair. He held her for a minute before pulling back, sniffling a little.

"I love you, Ron. You're still one of my best friends. You always will be."

"Thanks," he whispered, gently brushing his knuckles over her cheek. He kissed her lightly on the lips, taking in the feel of her one last time, before smiling tenderly at his sister and walking back downstairs.

Hermione watched him go, feeling that part of her life coming to an end in that moment. Ginny came up behind her, rested her cheek on Hermione's shoulder and hugged her.

"He'll be okay now," Hermione whispered, a wisp of a smile touching her face. Ginny nodded in silent agreement. Then Hermione turned around in Ginny's arms and kissed her with all the passion she possessed for the girl. It left Ginny breathless with desire.

"Promise me something, my love," Hermione said softly, placing another softer kiss on Ginny's lips.

"Anything," her lover replied.

"Let's not keep secrets ever again."

Ginny smiled at her and nodded.

"Never again."


End file.
